You gotta wonder sometimes what people mean when they do things that seem to contradict what they say about themselves. Maybe you beat yourself up a bit too coz you can’t get out of bed on time in the mornings or be more motivated at work. Here is a little exercise you can do that can shed some light on what’s really going on:

According to Maslov and other psychologists, people behave in specific ways (either habitually or out of choice) in order to meet certain needs. ie I eat the food to meet my need for nourishment, end the hunger pangs. I yell at my dog because it needs to learn to shut up and not disturb the neighbours. There are about 6 common human needs:

1. Certainty – need to feel safe, secure, comfortable, predictable.
2. Variety – need for change and variety and taking risks.
3. Significance – I’m important, self worth.
4. Love and connection – sometimes we settle for connection when we can’t get love, sometimes it’s ok just to connect ie with the shop assistant.
5. Growth – learning, healing, getting bigger/growing up, maturing
6. Contribution – giving back, community service etc where helping others takes you out of your own shit.

So from the examples above, sleeping in and not getting out of bed on time in the mornings could be meeting your need for comfort (certainty) and maybe significance (I deserve to sleep). Procrastination or lack of motivation at work could be meeting your need for significance (people need to give me the work and attention I deserve), connection (my other colleagues at work complain if I’m too efficient so I slow down so they will be nice to me and no one gets in trouble) and certainty (if I don’t raise my boss’s expectations then I won’t have to stress out too much at work – predictable – or worse I’ll try really hard then fail and get fired). The cool thing here is that when you can see your patterns, you can begin to change your responses. You don’t have to be at the mercy of your unconscious habits if you don’t want

Ideally when you are at choice: no matter what is going on around you, you can choose how you feel. This is the goal of this work. It’s a great stress reliever!

This is just a quick intro into this subject. You can check out Maslov or Tony Robbins for more information. You can also contact me to start working more closely with your specific projects and needs.

This is for those of you who are stuck in procrastination city!

Whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish, are you putting in the time? the reps? the practice? I like the idea of comparing business/relationship success with sports. Whether you are trying to improve one particular skill ie cold calling; or you want to do cross training (clients, teleseminars and warm letters). You don’t develop muscles by keeping your shoes clean. You ever heard of ‘runners’ high’? Yeah it’s a nice bonus from sweating it out at the gym. You don’t get fit by taking a magic pill or wishing that it is so. Magic comes when you put in the hours/practice.

Even if you aren’t clear about next steps, lack of clarity is rarely the real problem. Get really specific (and compassionate) about what’s bugging you and then put your gym shoes on and do some reps.  ;-)

Check out this cool vid from Richard Grannon of Spartan Life Coach.